A list of good things.

Things that are great...

the wii

Cabernet Shiraz

Walter moers

Value stock cubes

Hotukdeals

Homemade Spag Bol that lasts 3 days

Super Strong Black Coffee

Gomez

Sex in the middle of the night

Green and Blacks Chocolate

Medised for children who are poorly

Tim Burton films

Play fighting

Discussing world politics

and lots more....

A 3 Course Meal?

Yesterday we had friends over for dinner. We get on really well with the couple but see them rarely due to busy lives on both sides.

We exchanged belated christmas presents. Which was actually quite good because it meant the children hace had little extra presents when they weren't expecting it.

Unfortunately my friend is quite picky with her food, not being the sort of person to just dish up and say tough i waited until they came to check which meat she likes. Hubby and i eat just about everything so it didnt matter to us. This was the menu

Starter

Italian Pizza Bread

Main Meal

Chicken in a white wine sauce

served with wholewheat spaghetti

Dessert

Caramalised Peaches and pears with toasted oats.

I'm a firm believer that you dont need to break the bank to eat good healthy food and last night was no exception. The whole meal cost about £5 to feed 4 adults a 3 course meal of reasonable quality and it didnt take hours to prepare and cook. i would say it took 20 mins from start to finish.

We had a great evening. It's nice to talk to people who dont have children because that way the conversation isnt just about yours and there children. You can actually have adult conversation and pretend your life doesnt revolve around three little beasts. Having said that i cant wait til they do have children. She's incredibly maternal. I've known them since college and she's always been the same. Some people were just born to have kids, she's one of them.

Hurray!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Four years of hard work with my little lad and finally someone has told me i'm doing well! Today when collecting the ginger one the teacher came out with him, as they headed towards me i was preparing myself for arguing his case. Hopefully no-one was seriously hurt in this bout. Hopefully i wont have to face the humiliation of being sent to the head teacher...Again.

To my absolute amazement i noticed the teacher smiling,
"good news today" she said. So i put away my 'concerned parent' face. She then proceeded to tell me that my gorgeous little lad had managed to get himself in the gold book and been star of the week for being the only child in the year to know all 45 words for reception. He's now moved on to YEAR 1 work. I wanted to do the 'embarassing mum thing' and cry and give him a big hug proclaiming that obviously he's is the most amazing child in the world and it's about time he got some recognition. But i didnt. I smiled and thanked her graciously as she congratulated me i how well i've been teaching him at home to be at this level.

It's strange i know it should be enough to see your children thriving and growing and being happy but sometimes it's just really great to here that your child is better than all the rest!

And now for something completely different...

In the process of cleaning through our junk wardrobe i found some scribblings from when i was a teenager. My goodness i had no idea how annoying i was! I find it so strange when people envy teenagers. Why? They have raging hormones, out of control hair, dismissive teachers, controlling parents, no money and bodies they have no control over. I was no exception to that list. I decided to keep all my scribblings and diaries and dramas to look back on when girly has driven me mad when she's a teenager, to remind myself just how crap it is.

So next time your cursing youths, cut them some slack because you can guarantee that what ever you may think of them, they think worse of themselves.

We've not had the best day. Last night the kithchen sink blocked, so hubby ran up the shop to get the special bleach that unblocks drains, it was an extortionate £3.55 and you've got to use the half the bottle. We decided to leave it over night in the vague hope we may awake to have an unblocked sink though we rarely have much faith in these things. We then watched The Negotiator which i really enjoyed. Respect to Mr Jackson.

The children then hd an awful night, girly was up every 5 minutes for an hour and baby was feeding for far to long for a ngith feed! Sometimes no matter what you do, you can try every technique there is but untimately they will only go to sleep when they feel like it. We as a rule have a bed time routine that works very well but occasionally, like all parents, we have 4 hours sleep and incredibly frayed tempers.

So understandably i wasnt impressed when this morning i had to spend an hour unclogging the kitchen drain. Not the most pleasant job. My husband as wonderful as he is cannot put his mind to anything even vaguely practical so it was left to me to undo u bends and drain covers and use any implement to hand to sort the problem. But it's sorted now. And i have a much better understanding of our kitchen drainage than i did yesterday so at least i learnt something.

But in the long run an hours work did save me alot of money on a plumber, which is who my husband would have called for instantly. I guess it pays to have a go at fixing things yourself sometimes. Particularly if moneys tight.

Space Saving

We have 3 children and so space is at a premium in our house. We are always looking for new ways to save space whilst still keeping all the things we like and use. We try not to clutter and collect objects that we wil not use , though i have to say it isn't easy for my husband or i since we have both been big collectors of various things in the past. My biggest vice in the fight against clutter are books. I find it so difficult to part with any of my books. I still have all the anne rice books from my anne rice stage when i was a teenager and all my classics that i hardly ever read but feel i should have as an englishwoman, i have my books that people have bought me that i will never read but have to keep and then theres my favourites. Hmm i've wondered off the point. So here are the best ways we've found save space.



1. Try to sort through childrens toys and clothes before every birthday and christmas and give what isnt needed to charity.



2. Transfer all your c.ds to carry cases, the sort that are a few quid in tescos and hold about 40 c.ds. Some charity shops take the empty c.d cases but if not just throw them away or find uses for them.



3. Do the same for your dvd collection, only we store our dvd's in a bigger storage case, it holds 240 dvd's and it's surprising how much room that saves when you transfer them all over. I know alot of people treasure there dvd's in the cases but for us it was more important to be able to keep our belongings streamlined than have a nice display. I've recently bought a second dvd holder from ebay, it's much cheaper than the high street.



4. Everytime a charity bag comes through your door put something in it for the collection date. It may only be 1 pair of shoes but it's 1 pair of shoes that you dont need and someone else does.



5. Use your computer. Store photos on your hard drive rather than having albums and albums of photographs. If you want to have a more tangible copy for relatives then make a photo slide dvd using nero, set it to some apt music and it turns into a present rather than just a copy of some photos.

Well all of these tips have saved us space. Not that you'd know it to look at the house, sometimes i wonder if it is ever tidy. I spend hours every day cleaning and tidying just for it all to be undone at the weekend when everyones at home. Ah well i'd rather have a house full of laughter and mess than a house full of silence but tidy.

Value Food

I was speaking with my s-i-l earlier and found that she very rarely bought value food at supermarkets until i gave her a list of value foods we use on a regular basis. This made me wonder how often people waste money buying a brand name food. My sister has very little spare money and yet she very often buys ready meals and takeaways, this baffles me . Surely the less money you have the better you need to be with your money. However even if i had all the money i wanted i still wouldnt bother wasting money on things that i either do not need or can find cheaper else where. My parents are reasonably well off and yet my dad almost only buys reduced items, he manages to pick up so many food bargains simply by knowing what time in the evening asda reduce meat and veg. Therefor my parents live on a minimal food budget.

I think every shopping budget has to juggle quality and quantity. In our house we buy value basics and then we can afford to buy the extra things that we particularly like. For example we all love olives and so they are a must on our shopping list, we also love tea leaves rather than teabags so we always keep in Tesco Finest Tea leaves, which we've found to be the best value for the quality.

So anyway enough waffling here's a little list of value products we use. I mainly shop at tesco and so i do not know if these products are good in other shops, all of these are Value products.
Basmati Rice
Penne
Stock cubes
Pitta Bread
Tinned Tomatoes
Tuna
Onions
Nappy Sacks
Lamb Mince
Apple Juice
Orange Juice
Vodka (if flavouring it)
Sponge Scourers
Brown bread ( but only comparing to other sliced wholemeal bread, not proper bread)
Pesto
Instant Noodles (but only compared to other brands of instant noodles, these are in no way a substituts for proper noodles. I would also suggest you use a stock cube rather than the flavouring tey inclue since there is less junk in a stock cube.)

These are the main products i use and i may add to it if i remember others. Obviously some value food is rubbish but it is a case of trial and error.

Breastfeeding Rant

Whilst i agree that it is every womans choice whether they breastfeed or not i'm baffled by how many women choose not to.

From a purely practical point of view it's much cheaper to breast feed. Aside from the obvious formula milk that is not needed, there is no need for sterilisers or bottles. It really cuts the cost down of having a baby.

Bottle feeding also requires alot more effort. I am not a lazy person but i do not see the point in spending all that time sterilsing, mixing and warming when boobs can do all that for you!
It seems to me that alot of women are just pressured into bottlefeeding by society. This starts from a young age, just consider a little girl with her baby doll. Almost all baby dolls come with bottles. This implants the image of a baby and bottle in a childs head therefor normalizing a bottle over breast. Whilst i obviously do not expect a model breast to come with a baby doll i wonder why there is any need to include a bottle. My little girl has many baby dolls but i've never given her a bottle to go with them since i dont see the need. She still has as much enjoyment out of her dolly as any toddler.

We are then shown consistently as girls and women the image of baby and bottle. Not only from the ruthless formula companies but also from television programmes and films. Can you remeber the last time you watched a film with a woman breast feeding in? Combine these images of the bottle with the negative opinions of breast feeding presented by men and women alike is it any wonder why so many women feel it's something they cannot do.

It is mainly breasts that you see plastered over mens magazines but oftn men do not want women to breast feed since they then feel this would stop them being able to look at breasts as sexual objects. I would like to remind them that large breasts were originally attractive as a sign of fertility since bigger breasts usually meant a woman breastfeeding and therefor having had a child. So why knock the reason why men found large breasts attractive in the first place?

This leads to the question of why thereare so many negative views about breastfeeding from people who have never even tried or indeed do not have breasts! Over my time as a 'nursing mother' which is a fair amount i have heard alot of opinions about breastfeeding and i must say that it is mainly women whom i have the strongest negative opinions from. However i do feel that they do not realise that they are just spouting the usual sexist views that ultimately men create.

Breastfeeding should be looked at as a symbol of feminine power. I feel empowered by breast feeding. It is an amazing feat to be able to, not only carry and grow a baby inside of you and bring it into this world, but to be able to sustain it for 6 months by just your body alone. Yet most women do not find it empowering. Why are women not praised for doing this amazing act for there child? Why are we made to feel like social outcasts, strange or 'hippies'? It is another example of womens beauty and strength being knocked down by a masculine world, this may sound strong and feminist but i honestly believe this to be true. That does not mean that i blame all men. I have met and continue to meet individual men who are very supportive. However men in groups seem to have different opinions and unfortunately we still live in a society where men hold most of the positions of power both in business and government.

Well i guess thats the end of my rant.

Tips that have saved me money today

1.Make a list - (made a list for shopping for the week, got it all in one go, saved money and time!)

2.Search all websites for the best bargain- (bought Curb your Enthusiasm for £39.99 series 1-5 from zavvi. rrp £81.49)

3.Clear Clutter- Well it hasnt saved me money yet but by going through the childrens clothes and sending a few bags to charity it's less i'll have to pay the removal company when we move.

4. Shop at a market- Instead of trundling to the supermarket shop go to the market. Not a farmers market just a fruit and veg stall will do and buy the cheapest veg.

5. Walk- instead of getting in your car or on the bus just walk. I've walked about a 3 mile round trip today may not sound like much but i've saved £3.90 on a bus and parking charges if in a car.

Time to move on

The funeral has passed and thankfully it went well. There were no arguements all who were supposed to be there were there. I met some new faces and greeted old. My f-i-l's estranged sister very bravely came down for it and she was really lovely. My husband hadnt seen her for 20 years and so he was really quite excitedly nervous but they got on well. She was nothing like my f-i-l she was very vibrant and seemed to have a great sense of humour. Which is good in this house. She got on well with the kiddies and knew how to take my m-i-l which is always a good thing.

My husband dealt with the funeral in his usual dignified and admirable way. I was really proud of him and i have to admit it may be inappropriate but he looked really sexy in black! I did refrain from snogging him every 2 minutes though, i dont think that would have gone down to well amongst the in laws, (yes i did use the term snog, well it's not only teenagers that do it!). My s-i-l also handled the situation surprisingly well considering she had to take her newborn baby to her father funeral. My m-i-l handled it differently to how i was expecting, she kept very much to herself.

So now i feel it's time to move on a little. Of course there are still some lose ends to clear up. The flat he lived in for instance needs clearing and the we need to be reimbursed for the funeral but most is now sorted and so i hope our lives can return back to some sort of normal routine. That is before we have to move in march!
Anyway my little lad is doing really well at school and can now read all of his High Frequency Words. Not much int he way of money saving today i know but here's a little tip Use http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/ for all your money saving tips. The forum is the best forum on the web and they have helped me out endlessly with the funeral and such.

An ode

"Am i dead?"

The Gentlemen said,

In slacks and a leather coat.

"You are" the ferryman said,

to the man who was dead

"now kindly get in the boat"

"Have you sat nav?" asked he

the dead man you see

was a fan of gadgets and qvc

"i've recently bought a brand new wii,

it cost just 293!

I'm a great believer in technology.

So have you sat nav?" asked he

The ferry smiled and bowed his head,

"No" the old ferryman said

"It's a funny thing when you are dead,

you know eactly where you tread

There's no need for sat nav when you are dead."

The ferry man said.

to the man who was dead

who thought quietly to himself

I'll have to give it to someone else.

On a lighter note

On a lighter note my children are still being sweet little pains in the bott.







My girly said something so funny the other day. When i asked her why she didnt have any knickers on she huffed and said all stroppily "i wore some yesterday". My little girl is the daintiest prettiest and pinkest little thing ever but when it comes to her anatomy she can be completely crude.







i have made a little travel behaviour chart for the children they have 1 each and it's a great way of controlling behaviour when they are out. imade it on the computer and then in true neil buchanan style i covered it in sticky back plastic. I used a split pin for the hands and pasted a picture of there favourite programme in the middle, and put the number 1-10 in the stars around the edge. They get a reward if they get to ten. It's small enough to fit in your handbag or wallet and because it's laminated it's really durable.

Heres a pattern for 2 to be printed on a4 -

A Poem.

Well another day has been and gone and another day closer to tuesday, the funeral. The passing of my f-i-l has raised alot of issues for me that previously i had never really thought about.

I had never really considered how men grieve, whether it's accepted yet by society for a man to be upset about a loss and be vocal about it. Even my husbands mother has just assumed he's dealing with it better than her daughter. Is this because he's a man? Does he feel like he cant cry for fear of looking feminie in some way? I've told him time and time again that it's fine to cry and be upset about it but he still hasnt. I know that everyone grieves differently and i do understand this. My husband never had a particularly good relationshp with his father and i genuinely think that if e needed to cry he would but still i think that there is a huge stigma attatched to grieving openly in this country.My husband has only asked for help once from his family and that was to ask his sister on the day there father died if she would see him in the evening it was arranged she would come to our house with her daughter and partner for 1 hour she was getting a lift to and from our house but she still cancelled last minute. My husband then asked her if she could please try to make it she said she would and she did come but she and her mother have since told him so many times how wrong it was for him to do this to her! Sometimes i feel that his wishes and emotions are cast aside because he doesnt cry and scream and argue so therefor he couldnt possibly care as much as everyone else.

Another issue it has raised is how to approach the death of someone you loved but didnt necessarily like. My husband, whilst he got on with his father for the last 18months of his life had previously had a very tempestuous relationship with him. His father had many estranged relatives and had fallen out with the majority of his family at one stage or another. Does it make it easier for people who were not very close and didnt idolise there parents when tere parents die? Or is it harder to try and deal with the array of emotions they feel?

My husband is currently in the process of trying to find a poem that would suit his father. He doesnt want it to be to sad since this doesnt fit with the feel of the funeral. It's very difficult to find a light hearted peom about death.

For my part i have written a poem about what i think my f-i-l should and would have wanted to say

Do not feel guilty for living
When i have passed away
Keep smiling laughing playing
and do this everyday
Promise you wont waste tears on me,
dont waste your precious dreams,
dont waste your heart wishing for me
For lifes not what it seems
It's just a few short momments
slips through your hands like sand
so live for every second
laugh and smile all you can
In case you forget i'll be watching
making sure your having fun
I love you so much dear daughter
I love you so much dear son.

When my husband saw this he said he wished that what he had said. I wish my father in law had said that to him too.

Funeral plans

Today my hubby and s-i-l met with the lady who is going to deliver the service at my f-i-l funeral. She was lovely (and an OU tutor yay). She talked through the service, which will be not be religious. My husband has decided to be a pallbearer which i'm really pleased with because its a very symbolic gesture which i think will help him deal with his emotions in a physical way.

He was made to go into work after. His employer is being very awkward with him. She is a complete bitch which may be very childish of me but it's true. She is one of those women that looks down her nose at parents as if it's your fault she hasnt got any children! It wouldnt really matter if that was her attitude except she's a head teacher! Any way it doesnt matter my husband was quite happy to go in to work. Anything to get away and forget it all.

My oldest, who is 4, has settled down again at school agan. He was getting into lots of fights but thankfully thats stopped again mainly down to bribery on my part. If he's naughty at school he doesnt get to play on the wii.

I try to help my 4 year old by teaching him a little bit at home as well as his school work, i've found a great source of information at www.firstschoolyears.com which has great printouts for high frequency words .

A New Year

Happy New year to all and i hope you all had fantastic Christmases'.

Unfortunately our Christmas left a little to be desired. On the 30th of December my f-i-l passed away. My husband got the call at 11.30 am that he had died. After phoning round the immediate family he went to see his father which was extremely hard for him.

Since then it's been whirl of phone calls, meetings and squabbles.

My M-i-l is executor of the will however she has been divorced from my f-i-l for 10 years. This has meant that as next of kin and his closest family my s-i-l and hubby have taken control of the funeral arrangements which has in turn caused many problems. My m-i-l assumed she would be the one arranging the funeral and has been upset by the arrangements and therefor been a little callous.

I am so proud of the dignified way my husband has dealt with this whole situation. He never ceases to amaze me with his strength. He has deallt with his mother and sister amazingly well. Which has not always been easy where his mother is concerned since sometimes she can lack tact.

On a wonderful note my s-i-l had a beautiful baby girl. Baby Willow is doing incredibly well and so cute. She is being breast fed hurray thankfully my s-i-l agrees that breast is best. Though we approach breast feeding in different ways.

And now for something completely different!

My christmas cake is fantastic. I've only just started eating it since we didnt get a chance over xmas for obvious reasons.

My dad has got Bells Palsy. Diagnosed on xmas day. Only my dad could do that. I personally think he was just jealous of my husbands father getting all the attention.

My son has gone back to school today and therefor reignited the continueing question of whether we should have opted for home education since he doesnt seem to be doing to well at school.

My baby boy has 2 teeth and more on the way which he isnt happy about but i love because he's got that gorgeous toothy grin.

My girly is driving me mad! She refuses to eat anythin other than fruit. Which wouldnt be so bad in the summer but it's very costly this time of the year.

So that the round up. Well some of it.